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Monday, May 2, 2011

The Ultimate Goal of Parenting


Recently, I found myself in the middle of a trivial but all-too-familiar situation.  I was chatting with a friend after church while my oldest daughter waited (impatiently) beside me.  The friend said hi to Gracie and complimented her pretty dress.  As usual, Gracie looked down and hid behind me, as though the personal attention and compliment was just too painful to address (eye roll!). After barely muttering a prompted "thank you" she was quickly ushered to the car, accompanied by my typical lecture on being polite and answering people.  I was so frustrated...but why?

Ok, so there's nothing new or even that upsetting about this minor incident, because anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes around our family knows that we are always good for at least one meltdown, two whines, and three tattle-tales.  Still, I couldn't help but wonder why it bothers me so much when my kids don't act "right". 

This prompted me for whatever reason (too much coffee too late at night?) to a lot of reflection about what motivates me as a parent.  So often, my parenting is driven by what others think or how they will perceive my kids and ultimately ME as their mom.  If my kids are well-dressed, polite, cute, smart, and/or friendly; then I am a "good" mom.  I've done my job well. If they have a fit in public, look messy, don't appropriately thank someone, or cry on the way to the nursery; then I feel like everyone will think (know?) I've "failed". 

Before I had kids, I had ALL the answers.  I just knew my kids would be the nicest, most respectful kids around!  WOW does God have a sense of humor.  I have been served more than my share of humble pie.  But I am actually thankful for the experience of having imperfect, strong-willed, yes--even sometimes "bad" kids.  I am learning that my goal in raising them cannot be driven by others.  It has to be motivated by glorifying God and teaching them to do the same.  They are kids!  They will never and can never act the way I want them to all of the time.  I can't act the way I want to all the time!  I hold them to such a high standard and it is for such a selfish reason.

I am NOT saying that kids shouldn't be polite or held to high standards; not by a long shot.  I just think that it's worth evaluating and re-evaluating our motivation every now and then.  When I do my best to honor God through my job as a mom, I can rest in the comfort that He knows my heart and motivation and I will be judged and held accountable fairly.  Sometimes my kids make poor choices despite my best efforts.  If my success or failure as a parent is contingent upon my kids' behavior then I need to just cut my losses now and stop wasting my time on all of this work!  I am learning--albeit SLOWLY--that my goal is to do everything that I know and believe is right and leave the results in God's hands.  What peace and relief that brings a weary mom!

I have to credit my own Mom and Dad (parents of 6) with this "epiphany", as they have both encouraged me with this wisdom and scripture in my past meltdowns.  Still, it is very hard to remember in the daily trenches of parenting. 

"And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17.

This is the ULTIMATE goal of parenting.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

My Baby is One!

Ok, I am such a novice to this blogging thing.  In fact, I have never even followed a blog before!  I recently viewed a few posts on some friends' blogs and realized mine is REEEALLLY lame.  Someday I'll figure it out, but for now it is just going to be the Bloring Bleveridge Blog.

So, my littlest baby turned one today!  Here he is, Mr. Luke, waking up as a ripe ol' one-year-old. 






Eager to greet the birthday boy are his 3 older sibs. Round one of the obligitory 100 birthday song versions commences...





I copied the little baby from a google image search.  This cake was really fun and simple to make!  I used to dabble in cake decorating but got burnt out primarily because my fondant recipe was soo hard to work with.  I found a great recipe and tutorial on this blog:  http://www.thepolhamusfamily.com/2010/04/marshmallow-fondant-recipe.html.
I worked on it during naptime, but my 2 older girls (age 4 and almost 6) don't nap and wanted to help.  One of my big struggles as a mom is how impatient I can be and how I get frustrated at the drop of a hat.  I wish I could just let them help and patiently guide them and accept their mistakes.  No.... instead I get aggravated and short with them in what is supposed to be a fun activity.  Mercifully, God has instilled in all of my kids an intense love and devotion that seems to trump my not-so-perfect moments.  They manage to maintain good memories of our times and are very loving.  Still, I am a work in progress. 


In other news...
my sister just got engaged!  I am SO happy for her.  This is going to be a whirlwind summer though, because the wedding is less than 3 1/2 months away!  I'd better get working on my tummy.  Eva, my 4 y/o, informed me today that I look like I have a baby in my tummy.  KIDS! Speaking of baby tummies, this is the FIRST first birthday I have celebrated of one of my babies that I was not pregnant again.  I love babies and all, but YAHOO!  I officially took precautions thanks to the miracle of Mirena so no new babies in the near future.