What happened? Yesterday they were wearing diapers!!
Our girls are only 9 and 7 1/2, and we are not okay with blindly surrendering them to this very grown-up world of technology. However, we know that in the 21st century, technology is an essential part of everyday life and we do not feel that it is right to shelter our children completely from it.
After some trial and error, we think we have figured out a few tips on how to allow our daughters the freedom to enjoy their grown-up devices while still maintaining the innocence of childhood. Please share with me any tips that you have found helpful as we enter this crazy new phase in our parenting journey!
1. Share Accounts
My daughters and I all share the same iTunes account. This way, I can very easily manage and monitor who contacts them or who they are contacting.
2. Keep Passwords Secret
Remember, my daughters are still very young. It is a privilege to even have this type of device. I have never told them the password to our iTunes account, which keeps them from downloading anything without my help. Yes, it can be a pain when it comes to updates, etc.; but I have never had to worry about them racking up iTunes bills or downloading inappropriate content.One other note on passwords: they are not permitted to "lock" their devices. All of ours (mine included) are unlocked for easy monitoring.
3. Parental Controls...Your Best Friend
I have disabled their ability to access search engines on their devices. If they want to Google something, and they ALWAYS do, they must use the family computer and I have to be with them. There is too much that their young eyes could see that cannot be erased from memory.
4. Shamelessly Snoop!
I remind my girls all the time that I will be reading and "spot-checking" their iPods regularly. If they say or do something inappropriate, I will see it.
PS--they snoop on me too, which holds me accountable!
5. "Ask First or Lose It!"
Before face-timing, messaging, or any type of communication; they are required to ask for permission first. There are many reasons for this rule (all, I might add, learned the hard way!). They must learn proper etiquette--sometimes it is not an appropriate time to contact someone. Furthermore, when they are home from school, it is first and foremost family time. They are not to spend all evenings and weekends hiding in their rooms talking to fellow teenyboppers.
Daily Time Limits?
It is also worth noting that there is one rule that we do NOT have: a daily time limit.
Why? First of all, this chick does not have the discipline or fortitude to measure closely the minutes spent on the devices. Secondly, in our home, every day is different. There are days that a 30 minute time limit is much too long to spend on the iPods; and there are days when we have more time to spare. I don't like putting a strict time limit on this. They are aware that if they take advantage of this privilege and show poor judgement, they will lose the privilege at a moment's notice.
A final thought...
There are many wonderful benefits to owning these devices. They have enabled my daughters to talk to out-of-town cousins/aunts/uncles, share special news with family members, and grow closer to their friends. They have bonded with each other over Minion Rush and Dumb Ways to Die (yes...that one slipped through the cracks until it was too late!).
It is so important to teach kids at an early age how to use technology for good and not evil. My hope and prayer is that this experience will help our kids learn self-discipline, discernment, time management...and of course, how to get to the next level in Candy Crush. ;)
